walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You have to summon your inner elephant
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
