I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
