how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
