That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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