fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
