you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Terrible idea I love it
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
