# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize