You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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