last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
