Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
His nipple licking is glorious
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