you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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