atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
