Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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