I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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