...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
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nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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