can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
