the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
In other news, I just burned my penis
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
