I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
