TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
