You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize