um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
