i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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