If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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