I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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