That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
