I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
