i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
