Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
