I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
