i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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