the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
