his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
