community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
