i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
