everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
