she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
