It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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