I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You're a waste of cheezeits
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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