I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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