I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
