i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks