it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.