Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
our cab driver is having phone sex.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Everclear isn't food dammit
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
