She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.