ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
This is the high leading the old right now
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.