Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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