It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home