haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.