I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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