i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize