i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
