So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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