ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
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