I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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