I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill