Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.