Texts From Last Night

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  (616): View more from Michigan

  its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true

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  (616): its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true http://tfl.nu/528i
  Replies (4) Good night (1507) Bad night (960) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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  (770): I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today http://tfl.nu/7gup
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (356) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Who goes to Church hungover

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk

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  (302): Who goes to Church hungover (717): Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk http://tfl.nu/g7sy
  Replies (42) Good night (14609) Bad night (1222)
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  (818): View more from California

  We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier

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  (818): We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier http://tfl.nu/rs4k
  Replies (25) Good night (3938) Bad night (612)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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  (412): woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered. http://tfl.nu/z2cy
  Replies (28) Good night (10766) Bad night (662) Order T-Shirt
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars

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  (614): Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars http://tfl.nu/pbzi
  Replies (28) Good night (1483) Bad night (5193) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"

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  (201): He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?" http://tfl.nu/srbv
  Replies (4) Good night (4033) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.

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  (973): composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals. http://tfl.nu/kw2o
  Replies (13) Good night (5126) Bad night (779)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues

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  (210): remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues http://tfl.nu/3lxf
  Replies (9) Good night (647) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner

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  (626): I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner http://tfl.nu/0q4j
  Replies (4) Good night (3718) Bad night (734) Order T-Shirt
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  (253): View more from Washington

  drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA

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  (253): drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA http://tfl.nu/xnrm
  Replies (6) Good night (768) Bad night (1937) Order T-Shirt
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?

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  (206): Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me? http://tfl.nu/2o7o
  Replies (8) Good night (1293) Bad night (413)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.

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  (443): I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley. http://tfl.nu/k95g
  Replies (7) Good night (791) Bad night (510) Order T-Shirt
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.

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  (443): Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again. http://tfl.nu/8fgb
  Replies (0) Good night (656) Bad night (255) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.

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  (608): Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this. http://tfl.nu/002x
  Replies (3) Good night (820) Bad night (141) Order T-Shirt

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