eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
