Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
