im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gay sex achievement: unlocked
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him