We're facebook friends in real life
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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