The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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