dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Bring me that man meat
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
