This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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