i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize