I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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