even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
