ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
