i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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