I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
