So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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