Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
