Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
