Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize