This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
