Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
