I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
