Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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