that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I pour the whiskey from now on
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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