Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(619): View more from California

i miss you so much

(858): View more from California

i miss you too

(858): View more from California

oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me

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(352): View more from Florida

i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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(216): View more from Ohio

there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay

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(416): View more from Toronto

I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon

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25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
Read it at the TFLN blog
(810): View more from Michigan

Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.

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(305): View more from Florida

Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.

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(480): View more from Arizona

please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head

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(613): View more from Ontario

Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.

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