at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Randomize
