Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
